Pastor Cites Childhood Trauma as Root of Infidelity
Megachurch pastor John Gray offered a public apology to his wife, Aventer Gray, during an April 27 episode of the “Dear Future Wifey” podcast. The couple discussed the near-collapse of their marriage in 2018, attributing their recovery to therapy and faith. Gray blamed his inappropriate relationships on deep-seated trauma from childhood sexual abuse by two men at the age of four. He also pointed to sexual repression from his upbringing as a contributing factor.
Marriage Survived Scandals and Public Scrutiny
Gray, senior pastor of Love Story Church in South Carolina and a former associate of Lakewood Church, has faced years of public criticism for alleged infidelities and financial controversies. In 2020, he was accused of paying a woman for explicit photos. Despite these challenges, the couple shared that their relationship has healed, and they now attend therapy weekly to strengthen their family.
Aventer Gray Chose to Stay for a Higher Purpose
Aventer revealed that she initially sought divine permission to leave the marriage but stayed after feeling called to use their story to help others. She emphasized that her decision was not out of obligation but a belief that their experience could save other marriages. Gray thanked her for her forgiveness, acknowledging the pain he caused.
Struggles with Church Community and Mental Health
Despite their own hidden struggles, Gray criticized fellow pastors for offering little support during his lowest moments. He also expressed frustration with the broader Christian community, stating that some believers prefer to witness others fail. He admitted that guilt and shame once pushed him to consider suicide, believing his family might be better off without him.
Renewed Commitment to Healing and Transparency
The Grays now advocate for open communication and mental health support in Christian communities. John Gray accepted full responsibility for his actions, including emotional and verbal infidelity, and committed to raising a healthier generation. He concluded by affirming his ongoing therapy and intention to break cycles of trauma for his children.
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Megachurch Pastor John Gray Apologizes on Podcast for His Struggles with Marriage Infidelity
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