“Are you okay?” Reportedly, those were the last words of Alex Pretti as he sought to protect two women who were being assaulted by government agents.

I am not okay. No one should be okay right now.

We all saw it. We saw it from multiple angles. We saw it in slow motion. We saw it zoomed in. We saw the first shot in the back and multiple shots as Pretti lay on the ground.

I am not okay.

I never thought our nation was perfect. I never thought the Church was perfect. But I never expected this.

In October 2016, when a recording of Trump bragging about, as a married man, trying to have sex with a married woman, and sexual assault, I thought Trump’s political ambitions were done.

It has really shocked me to see the way the Church embraced this man. I’d seen the Church embrace cruelty and war before, but never someone whose lifestyle was so contrary to the moralistic lifestyle the Church had prioritized. But a married man openly talking about cheating and sexual assault seemed like too much.

I was wrong. I remember sitting in Church the Sunday after the election, wondering how more than 80% of my fellow congregants could have embraced someone who was contrary to everything they had ever preached. I was sick.

Over the years, it just became accepted that Christians spoke of holiness but supported sin, so long as the man of sin would give them power.

Christians enthusiastically supported Trump in 2020. Then, Trump incited a coup attempt on January 6th. I watched in horror. Christianity was weaponized and employed in an attack against the peaceful transfer of power.

But despite Trump’s unfounded claims of election fraud and the violence he inspired, our nation held, he was out of office, and it was only a matter of time until justice reigned.

Or so I thought.

Once again, on a Tuesday night in November 2024, I felt sick.

I have a good friend with whom I’ve been close since middle school. He voted for Trump because of the economy and trans issues. When we spoke after the election, I told him that I hoped I was wrong. Because it would be better for the country, as what I was expecting was not good for it. Unfortunately, I haven’t been.

The last year has been filled with cruelty and instability. America has lost its leadership role in the world, as other countries can no longer trust us to elect responsible leaders.

I’ve stayed sane for the last year by holding to the belief that our nation is selfish and my fellow Americans stop supporting Trump because of the harm he causes to others, but that in the end they will realize that he is not good for their own selfish concerns.

Our hearts are far harder than I imagined.

This last month, though, has been beyond belief. Taking out the leader of another sovereign nation and openly stating it is for the oil, threatening NATO allies, blatantly violating the Epstein Transparency Act, occupying an American city, the murder of Renee Good, kidnapping 5-year-old Liam Ramos, openly lying about…well, about almost everything, and finally executing Alex Pretti.

So, I’m not okay.

The more I found out about Pretti and the more context I saw from other videos, the less okay I became. My eyes filled with tears, my chest became tight, and my breathing shallow and labored. I watched videos of this person whose professional life was centered on helping people, help a woman after the government agent violently pushed her, only to have the agent push another woman. Pretti then bravely put his body between the violent agent and the woman. This was too much. The agent pepper-sprayed them both, then he got gang tackled, his legal firearm, which he never reached for, was removed from its holster, he was shot in the back, and then shot repeatedly as he was on the ground.

Then I found out that his last words were to a woman he was trying to protect, “Are you okay?”

No!

This was a man doing good and being kind, and our government killed him for it.

Just as had happened with Renee Good, masked secret police chose violence and escalated the situation.

The government then made statements lying about the situation and claiming Pretti was involved in domestic terrorism, when the government and its secret police are the ones seeking to instill terror in American citizens. ICE officers have referenced the murder of Renee Good while addressing protesters, asking, “Have you all not learned from the past couple of days?” The lesson they are trying to teach is the lesson all terrorists try to teach: “You should be afraid.” But their implication is that citizens should therefore just comply. However, the lesson of history is that we now must stand.

And what about the Church in all of this?

The greatest indictment of the American evangelical church is that we are more upset about the disruption of our ability to sing praise songs on Sunday morning than we are about the abuse and killing of bearers of the Imago Dei by the government.

The American church complains loudly when protesters disrupt a church service after the pastor is linked to the secret police who just murdered Renee Good. The church went absolutely crazy when the government, as part of an effort to slow the spread of a deadly pandemic, put limits on corporate worship. But when government agents are standing over the lifeless bodies of those they have killed, the evangelical church is largely silent.

I am not okay.

I watched videos of a woman shot in the head and a man shot in the back and then repeatedly while lying on the ground, because I needed to understand the truth of the situation, so I could respond in confidence when people who claim to follow the same loving God I follow echoed the lies issued by the government. I watched to bear witness to the lives exterminated by our government. I watched to be able to call my fellow believers in Christ to repentance for supporting a tyrannical regime.

I am not okay.

If you are okay, then that may be the greatest evidence that you are not. If you are not broken by these events, you are not loving your neighbor as God requires.

“Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.” 1 John 4:8

The Church’s continued support of a loveless regime is evidence that the American church is not the ecclesia, the “called out” members of the spiritual church.

“Those who say, ‘I love God,’ and hate a brother or sister are liars, for those who do not love a brother or sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” 1 John 4:20

I am not okay. I pray you are not okay.

May God have mercy on our nation. May His justice roll down like water, His righteousness like an ever-flowing stream. May we repent and cling to His goodness and reflect His love for all people.

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